Shitty Shift Vent

What happened?
-jerky, entitled customer ("guest") comes through my self-check with his girlfriend, trying to buy booze. He had valid ID, she did not. I explain to them the law, the rules the Whole Schpeil. He gets all puffed up and shitty at me, being a total dick. We both start raising our voices at each other. He insists that that is NOT the law and then she leaves and he asks if he can buy it now that she's gone. No, I say, because the cameras already have me carding you both and she without an ID. Go through another line, that's fine, but I can't let you through because Texas is a hard-ass & I refuse to lose my job because you're angry. We continue to fight. Girlfriend comes back with valid ID - I say, "see? now i can sell this to you because you both have ID. It doesn't matter how old you are - I am not allowed to sell this to you without both having IDs", He kept arguing that law. I assumed he'd go complain and he did. I mostly let it go - but then went and researched the follow-up. The new ASTL had come over, apologized profusely and given them a FUCKING $30 GIFT CARD - whcih our store doesn't do. $20 at MOST. So this motherfucker gets a fucking free $30. AND the ASTL - who I expected would back me up - totally throws me under a bus & stabs me in the back - I go find him and explain myself, seeing what the fuck. He tells me I'm wrong - that isn't TABC law. I ask him to research that and get back to me and our entire team. I ask him to ask other TMs on our team about that rule because that is what we are trained to do.

2.) I feel FURIOUS that I was thrown under a bus by someone who I expected to support me (and what I believe to be the fucking law of Texas). I am furious. To tears.

3.) I talk a lot with Jen and realize that its not about the asshole or even the idiot ASTL. Its about my trigger - Right VS Wrong & justice and all that. Reminded me of what Cait & I spoke about this morning - Eric's sister dying of a fucking botched tonsilectomy - and Caitlin's sense of justice - how UNFUCKINGFAIR that is - and I, telling her that there is a bigger, universal sense of balance that we may not understand but life is not fair. It just isn't. And there is no vengeful deity - its just Balance....Guess I have that sense of justice, too. Mine comes directly from trying SO HARD to do The Right Thing all my life - thinking it would relieve my painful experiences/situations....And having it do. absolutely. nothing. Make no difference. I can be the Good Child, I can be a Royal Bitch  -  it didn't change my Mom's drinking or Jack's asshole Dry Drunk or any other person's actions/ideas/behaviors. POWERLESSNESS in the extreme. I'm on Step 2. Of course.

That knowledge does not change the fact that I am exhausted and thouroughly pissed off at this boss & the fact that I do the right thing. And don't get justified in that. I, in fact, just get more shit for it sometimes. That's life. It ain't fair. It ain't right. BUT - I HAVE to believe that somewhere, in some time, it is Balanced. I have to.